Three Weeks Post-Op

Well, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I put on some Britney just now to keep me motivated to actually type out an entire post. I don't know where the lack of motivation to write in here comes from. Mostly I think it stems from not wanting to share too many personal details... because you know, the internet.

My incisions are getting better. The vertical incisions on my actual inner thighs are healed up well. The horizontal incisions in the crease of my thighs have some... "openings." That's what we're calling them. Basically I split the incisions open. Have I mentioned I'm a terrible patient. Because I lack patience. I haven't worked out or anything, but I've been more active than Dr. E would like. But, I went to see him today and he said they're looking better. I have to "pack" one of the "openings" with this iodine-coated gauze. It's gonna be a blast.

I am three weeks out from surgery so I get to start massaging my breasts. Hahaha. If I haven't mentioned this already, I got breast implants during the last surgery. I like them, but... I wasn't prepared for the increased amount of attention. I'm sure that sounds stupid, but it's like a big surprise to me that men can't seem to hide their  boob gaze. I don't see the fascination. They're lumps of flesh under my shirt. Who cares.

Well, clearly I care because if I didn't, I wouldn't have gotten them. I did it to even out my body. I have big hips. "Yay."

I miss my family, kind of. My cousin -- one who used to be as close as a sister, but in the last few years has become more like a stranger -- had a baby shower, and I'm missing out on all of those things -- family events, whatever. I don't plan on moving back to Omaha... ever. But I do miss them. Mostly just my dad. I wish he'd buy a house out here so there was even more of an excuse to come out. I don't really miss the rest of them. They're all insane.

My dog got groomed yesterday and she looks so ridiculously cute, it hurts. She's my entire heart, I swear.

Back to the family event thing... one nice thing about dating someone who's "local," is that his family is mostly all around so I get invited to all of his family events, and that's a nice substitute I suppose. Plus his family is way less crazy. Not that it's without issues. His family is religious. One of the big ones that some in the world make fun of. In case it isn't all that clear, I am not religious. He actually isn't either, but this is a fairly recent thing. So, I guess... sometimes I feel stressed out when I'm around them because I don't want them to count me out because I probably don't fit in their "ideal." I never fit in anyone's "ideal." Ha. That was a huge issue in my marriage -- his family hated me, and to me, it felt like he made no attempt to make that situation better. Let me be clear, boyfriend's family never makes me feel anything but totally welcome. I just hope internally they aren't wishing for someone better for him.

Aaaanyway. I had a taste of running this week. I was trying to pay for my stuff in a store when I remembered I forgot my wallet in my car -- midway through checking out. So, I RAN outside to get it, because there were lots of people behind me. And it felt so good! I mean, not 100% because of my dumb incisions, but it felt nice running without the extras (read: leftover skin. Gross). I cannot, CANNOT wait to get back into it. I have so many fitness goals this fall/summer. 5Ks, 10Ks, Half Marathons. Biathlons. Maybe triathlons. If I can learn how to swim. Oh yeah... I don't know how to swim.

I'm worried about running with fake boobs. I can't imagine it'll be reaaal comfortable. I need to invest in a good jog bra. I tried one on at Lululemon. That's where my small boobs bra is from, and it was comfy and great. This one was NOT. Siiigh.

In other news, and lastly, I may have found a job. Maaaay. Gosh, I freakin' hope so. I'm so flippin' bored. I feel like I shouldn't have written about it. Like, I'm gonna jinx myself. Pleaaaase God. Pleaaaaase. Mama's broke and misses pedicures and professional hair coloring. Oh, and my dog is way overdue for a visit to the vet. Priorities. I swear, she'll get to the vet before the other stuff. Don't call the ASPCA or PETA on me. I'm a good dog mom. Swears.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

In an hour and a half I'm going to get the drains out! This is usually the more relief after the surgeries. The stitches are great to get removed, too, but the drains are so very cumbersome.

I spent last weekend trying to enjoy being mobile, and being outside. I went with the boy and a girlfriend to Descano Gardens outside of Pasadena. It was lovely. As you'll see below...

Man, I love flowers. Aren't those so pretty? It made me want to be a wedding planner. It is (besides the beach) the most beautiful location for a wedding. 

My surgery was Wednesday, and it was paaainful. I woke up thinking "OH... this was a mistake." And the first four days after were brutal, but knowing in an hour my drains come out, makes me feel relieved and excited. 

For the first time in my life, I don't look at my body and think "Ugh, gross." I have put on a few pounds throughout this vacation from exercise, and I'm so so so looking forward to working them back off. With a couple months of hard work, I think I'll actually LOVE my body. What a concept! Blows my mind. 

I bought the book, "Intuitive Eating" because I cannot... CANNOT diet ever again. I loathe it. I also got Jillian Michaels' Hot Bod in a Box which is stuffed with 80-something different exercises. And come on! Jillian Michaels? She's pretty hardcore. Can't wait. 

I'm also kicking around the ideas of taking -- yoga, spinning, belly dancing, kettle bells, and CROSS FIT. Along with the usual running and cycling. And random cardio visits to the gym. Ohhh, I can't wait to get back in the groove. 

Because when I'm honest... all I wanna do is eat Mexican food and cookies.